What It's Like to Live with Anxiety

Last updated 1,

Going through life with an underappreciated disability can be a difficult and isolating experience. I recently had the chance to sit down and have a talk with a woman who has a debilitating case of social anxiety syndrome, and she was kind enough to relay her experiences for the benefit of others who may be suffering in the same way.

Jane was born in 1980 in Detroit. Her father had dependency issues, and left the family when Jane was 5 years old. The two years leading up to her father's departure, Jane was living in a household with ever increasing anxiety levels. When her father was around, everything was noticeably tense, even when everything seemed to be quiet and calm. There would be outbursts of rage, arguments that brewed and eventually boiled over into yelling matches. Never getting violent, these confrontations did have an ever present threat of violence that resulted in a tremendous amount of anxiety for Jane and her mother.

When Jane was five, her father lost his job, and the result was that he was at home more often during the day. These conditions led to daily arguments and eventually Jane's father left them. He would visit a few times a year, and these visits always resulted in a confrontation. This environment of a lack of control, and not being able to predict when a visit would occur had a profound effect of the development of young Jane.

Today, Jane copes with the effects of her childhood. She has a keen sense for people who are harboring lots of anxiety inducing emotions. She spent some time under the care of a psychiatrist, who prescribed her an anti-anxiety medication. This episode was one her most difficult times. The medication worked. The side-effects and subsequent addiction almost destroyed her life. Benzodiazepine is a powerful anti-anxiety medication prescribed to millions of Americans each year. This medication is only intended to be used for a few weeks at most to help the patient cope with a life event that produces a petrifying amount of anxiety.

For someone with a long term condition like Jane's, anti-anxiety drugs, when taken over many months lose their potent effect. The patient begins to develop a tolerance to the drug, and larger and larger doses are required for the same effect. When a patient like Jane decides to get off the medication and pursue other treatments, she discovers that she is hooked, and must begin the multi-year process of weening from a high dose of Benzodiazepine. Jane cautions that anyone is a situation similar to hers to not take anti-anxiety medication for more than a few weeks, or that they talk to their doctor about the risks of tolerance and addiction.

Five years ago Jane began a process, that would take two whole years, freeing herself from an addiction that caused great pain, and tragically, more anxiety. After getting clean from her prescription medication, Jane found different and natural ways to deal with her anxiety. With the help of a therapist, Jane was able to work on memories and emotions associated with her high levels of anxiety. As it turns out, the medication works by allowing a patient to not become emotional when recalling anxious thoughts, and this effect also keeps the patient from healing from their trauma. “If a memory from your past causes you anxiety when you recall it, then you need to spend time thinking about that memory until it does not cause you anxiety.”

Jane shares what she has learned, “Memories of the past are useful for creating a future that you want to be a part of, if you are able to comb through your past, and live through all of the emotions associated with the memories, you will be able to set a course for the future that is good.”

Email Us or Use Our Contact Page:

• info@broadfocusclinical.com

• CONTACT